whoever created chinese food is my hero

probably the chinese

the chinese food in canada is actually canadian chinese… not real chinese food.

stretching your legs is so good after you masturbate

so i was in the bus with this granny by my side when we spotted two girls kissing by the bus stop. the granny turned to me and said “these girls are so pretty. at their age i was pretty ugly. well, maybe that’s why i had to marry a man” i almost died omg


messing up horribly but you’re still cute


Perhaps we’ll meet again when we’re better for each other.
― Ten Word Poem #6 (via damnisthatsam)

I still don’t have a girlfriend…
Where are you, baby?

half my mouth is frozen…

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